Taking my hands off situations in life and allowing God to take control is not something that is not easy for me to do. My human nature wants to stay in control of everything, even my mess. When I fail, I have the tendency to run from Jesus instead of towards Him. I go through life thinking that God’s love for me is conditional and based on my good or bad actions. I have believed the lie that I have to live a perfect life before I can be loved by God.
But that mindset is just that, A LIE.
Matthew 11:28-30 says:
“28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Verse 28 is incredible! I am so happy and relieved when I hear Jesus telling me that when I am weary and burdened He wants to give me rest.
But then I come to verse 29. I get so hung up on that verse, especially the part where it says “Take my yoke upon you.” The idea that I would willingly take on a yoke goes against my addiction to doing things my own way. Even though Jesus says that He is gentle and humble, that His yoke is easy and His burden is light and He wants to give my tormented soul rest I still resist. My pride and wanting complete control is so stubborn that I would willingly choose to forget all the messes that God has brought me through and consistently try to do it on my own. Even when the result is always the same, a giant hot mess.
In August of 2020, God gave me this dream where He showed me what we look like when we are not willing to surrender and how it makes Jesus feel.
I was standing at the back of our church. The place was packed full of people. As I stood there I saw my pastor, Pastor Gio, and his brother Kenny at the front of the church lost in worship. I saw Covington and Destiny on stage leading worship. As I looked towards the back of the stage I saw Jesus ( I was watching The Chosen series at the time so in my dream He looked like the Jesus in The Chosen) sitting in a basic chair. His eyes were joyful, His countenance was one of contentment. Every now and again I saw him throw his head back in laughter as He had a conversation with the people. He was happy like a dad at Christmas time when all his kids were home. He kept motioning to people to come to Him at the altar.
As people came in through the doors of the church I noticed that they were dragging heavy suitcases with a thick cord tethered to the handle of their suitcase and the other end tied around their necks. They would pull and tug and were all red in the face, tired, and completely exhausted. They drug these cases to the stage and stood in front of Jesus. As they stood there He talked with them and as they talked He began to unpack all the stuff in their cases. Each person’s suitcase He unpacked individually. Then He reached up and gently untied the rope that was around their necks. The people collapsed to the floor exhausted. Jesus knelt down, picked them up, kissed them on the cheek, and held them close to His chest. Similar to the way a grieving parent holds a hurting child. I am not sure how long He held each person but He took His time. Person after person came and it was the same result. How each person responded to His touch was different; some cried, some danced, some laughed, and some just stood motionless and stared into the eyes of Jesus with Huge tears streaming down their face. Some wrapped their arms around Him and held Jesus and would not let Him go, and He did not push them away He held them as long as they held Him. If they rejoiced He was right there with them rejoicing. If they danced He danced with them. If they cried tears of Joy He cried with them. If they were belly laughing He was right there with his hands on his knees laughing uncontrollably. He was so overjoyed to see us free. It was an amazing sight to see how each person responded after they surrendered their weights to Jesus and he cut the rope of their bondage.
Service went on for what seemed like hours. Hundreds of people walked by me. You could feel the thickness of His presence.
After a while, the service ended. As people got up to leave instead of going out with the peace, freedom, and joy that Jesus had given to them many of them came back to the altar and started to meticulously place the items that Jesus had freed them from back into their suitcase. Jesus would come over to them and try and stop them and they just kept packing up their suitcase. He looked to the back where I was standing and He looked into my eyes with tears flowing down his face and said "Andrew Why are they packing? Tell them to stop. Tell them this is not a vacation tell them they are Home. I want them to live with me in my presence all day every day. Tell them they are Home. Someone, please tell them to stop! Please tell them they are Home and do not have to leave"
As I looked back at the people they were now tying the ropes back around their necks and were all red in the face again as they dragged their heavy suitcases out the back doors of the church. Person after person did this. As I looked back at Jesus he kept saying to each one" Please don't go, please stay with me. Please leave your burdens, your pain, your grief. Why don’t you trust me? Don't you know who I am? I am your Father and I love you unconditionally. I love you regardless of your junk. I am the one who created you and knows you best. Why are you listening to the noise of your life? Why do you think you have to carry this weight? Why are you thinking you are not good enough to stay? Your mess and junk do not bother me. Why can't you just rest in my Goodness? You are home please don't leave. You are at home. Just rest in me. You are home."
In the end, when the sanctuary was empty I saw Jesus, now looking sad, dejected, looking down at his hands, as He turned and started to walk out the side door He said "So many only have a head knowledge of me but their heart is still not willing to surrender. They still believe the lies of the noise and because they will not spend time with Me they fail to believe I am a good Father so they fail to trust Me and the power of My presence and that my sacrifice and my blood are enough to make them happy and complete. But I will never give up. I will never stop reaching out to them. I will never stop loving them. I am all they need. I am the I AM."
What I fail to recognize is the yoke of Jesus is the weight of His loving presence, not a heavy suitcase full of useless junk weighing me down. His yoke is used not as a way of enslaving or bondage but it allows the wearer of the yoke to see and work through the eyes of the one who is holding the reins. A yoke is worn by cattle so that a farmer is able to guide the animal in the right direction so the animal can see the path the farmer wants the cattle to go. Without a yoke cattle instinctively wander aimlessly without direction searching. It's no different with me. Instinctively when I am not willing to submit to the Yoke His of His Presence I trudge aimlessly along through life with the wight of my pride and bad decisions wrapped around my neck choking me out. God’s Presence is the yoke that gives me direction and allows me to see my situations through the eyes of the One who is holding the reins. One way or other another I am wearing a yoke and am following something or someone. The question is, Who do I want controlling the reins of my yoke?
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