As a Christian I have always gotten hung up on having a prayer life. To be honest the way we preach and teach about prayer is boring and to be honest seems like a waste of time. Why come to God who knows everything, sees everything, and is everywhere with constant prayers. According to some messages I have heard, we are to lock ourselves away in a room or closet for hours everyday and just pray to God about whatever is on our checklist or whatever the hot church topic is.
We pray for the nations, Israel, communities, loved ones, unsaved, sick people and on and on and on. So this ritual of prayer becomes just that, a ritual. There is no heart in it, there is no burden, it's become for many something we do because the preacher says we should do it.
We also hear messages regarding local church prayer rooms, which the concept in and of itself are wonderful. But in most of our minds we associate this as now not only do I have to spend hours in my closet or personal prayer room every day but now I have to come to the church building every day, night, and at lunch to pray there as well.
With all these messages on prayer preaching that my entire life should be one of going to physical places to pray when in the world do I have time to live life. With our required responsibilities of work, family, and kids, what do I give up to do all this praying. We feel guilty and inadequate because we are not in our prayer closet or prayer rooms for hours a day. So many of us have the above concept of prayer embedded in our minds and when we try to implement our prayer life according to these messages it overwhelms us to the point that we stop praying all together.
But a life without prayer is eventually spiritual death so it's a constant struggle that we battle. This was my life until a few years ago. My prayer life as previously described was up and down. To make matters worse I associated My closeness to God based on how much time daily I spent in my prayer room, or in my personal prayer closet. When those times were lacking it seemed like my walk with God was lacking.
I did not like the feeling of being distant from God. So I finally came to a point where I began to ask God to show me a better way to pray. For months it seemed like there was no answer. Then while waiting to board a cruise I had a spontaneous conversation with an older man. Hernando was of Spanish descent so we started talking about his homeland. I asked him, “What are you doing here?” He said “Praying.” I said chuckling “No I mean what are you doing here in the US?” He said, “Oohhh, I thought you meant what was I doing sitting on this bench.” We both laughed but it opened up an opportunity for me to tell him about my miserable prayer life. I told him I was struggling with prayer and maintaining a prayer life. He asked me why. So I told him. I bore my soul to him on why I struggled, echoing much of what I have written above.
Once I concluded my explanation, He sat back on the bench and took the toothpick he was chewing on out of his mouth. “Prayer is Beautiful” He said. “You don’t see it as beautiful because you're doing it wrong.” “Mind if I give you my personal experience of my prayer life?” He asked with a big smile. “Sure.” I replied. In the back of my mind I was like here we go another sermon on how I need to be in my prayer closet, and go to the prayer room and prayer should be this whole tedious life sucking thing.
“Are you married?” He asked. But quickly changed his question and asked “Are you happily married?” I said “Yes, I have been married for 22 years. I can not imagine doing life without my wife.” Chuckling he replied to me “Then You already know how to pray.” I kinda stared at him oddly. He continued “ A beautiful Prayer Life is like a Beautiful Happy marriage.”
He began to ask me a series of questions
“Are you daily locked in a room with your wife talking to her all day long and doing nothing else with your time?” I replied “No.” “When you're not at home are you on your cell phone the entire time talking to your wife the whole time you are not with her? Again, I replied “No.” “Are you sexually intimate with your wife for hours and hours every single day?” Laughing I said “No, but man that would be pretty amazing though.”
He said “In a beautiful marriage even when you're not with your wife there is an awareness in the back of your mind that she is with you. Without her being beside you know without a doubt that she loves you and supports you in everything. You have busy days where you may not see her till the evening but you have a confidence that when you get home she will be there. Even during those busy days if a struggle comes up, or an important decision comes up what do you do? You pick up the phone and have a conversation with your wife. But no matter what the busyness of your day looks like she is always in the back of your mind and you're always thinking about her. You think about her so much that in the few seconds of down time you may have in your schedule you reach out to her via text, or a phone call and tell her you love her or share a small part of your day with her.”
He paused for several moments and we sat in silence taking in the hustle and bustle of the market we were sitting in.
What about big decisions? Do you make all of your Big decisions without her? Or do you include her? I replied “ I always include her.” Why do you include her? he asked. “Because I love her.” I replied. “Yes. That is part of it, but the other more important reason is because you trust her. You know she has you and your family’s best interest at heart.” “What about your kids?” Are your kids perfect? He asked. I started Laughing “No far from it.” He continued, “When it comes to dealing with your kids you talk to each other about the best way to deal with each individual situation, don’t you?” I said “Yes. We talk about the kids all the time.”
What about your fights and disagreements? Do you have them? I responded, “Of Course.” He cut me off and continued “Even in those times of disagreement there is continued communication, you don’t just walk out and never talk to her again. You talk with each other until the issue is resolved one way or the other.”
“What about your goals and dreams, even the big dreams that seem impossible, do you share with her?” Yes, all the time we talk about what we would do if we won the lottery” I said.
He then turned his head and looked into my eyes “But there are those times when you shut the door to your room and you are intimate with her. Times when you tune everything out and there is no talking and it's just you and her intertwined in physical intimacy.” An embarrassed smile came across my face as I was shaking my head in agreement. He asked “Do you always have sex in the same bedroom, in the same house, behind the same closed door and never have sex anywhere else?” I laughed “No.”
He threw up his hands and excitedly proclaimed “ There you have it, You have a beautiful prayer life with your wife.”
He continued to explain “Andrew this is what praying without ceasing means. Prayer is part of worship and worship is a lifestyle not a thing you do or a box you check. It is a life that is consumed with Jesus. Like your life is consumed with your wife where you share your entire life with her, and in constant communication with her. This is what God desires from us. This is prayer. There are times when you talk. There are times when you disagree. There are times when you share your goals and dreams. There are times where you share your frustrations, stresses and fears. There are times when you make Big decisions. There are times when you talk about your family and kids. He already knows you. He created you. He just desires that you willingly include Him in every part of your life. He loves to have conversations with you. Even when you're busy, He is on your mind and in those spare few seconds between meetings you look up to heaven and whisper “Jesus I love you.”
However there are also times when you shut the door and get lost in His presence, tune everything else out and are intimate with him. When tears come, and there is such a love that your physical heart and stomach can not contain it. Those times of intimacy with Him can be anywhere you can get time to be alone with Him. House, Church, Prayer Room, Closet, Car, Field, Bathroom, because it's not about a place or a location. It’s about all of your life shared with your Creator. This is what a beautiful prayer life looks like.”
At that moment it clicked for me. I was looking at prayer as a thing that I had to do, or a place I had to go, instead of looking at it as me including Jesus and talking with Him in every part of my life I was already living. Ever since the veil of the temple was torn in two when He died and gave his life for me, I became the House where His presence dwells and My House will be called a house of prayer. In my everything he will be a part. He is the nucleus of which everything else in my life will revolve around. So many sermons miss the beauty of prayer when they make it about a place or a duty instead of an intimate ongoing conversation between two lovers of a life that is daily lived and cultivated.
These I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples. Isaiah 56:7
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12
Now when I read these scriptures they take on a whole new meaning because I have learned that prayer is not about carving out specific moments in time to pray in specific places to drone on about my list of specific things. Prayer is my ongoing conversation of a life that Jesus and I share. This is how I can pray without ceasing, and be constant in prayer as the scriptures define. Because prayer is my heart becoming one with His, and from that place of relationship I desire to share every aspect of my life with Him.
At the close of our conversation Hernado said “As I was walking and talking with God he told me to come sit on this bench and to wait. I have been sitting here for over an hour while my wife and family have been shopping. You're the first person in this busy plaza to come sit down beside me. I now know why God asked me to sit here, so that I could share with you what a beautiful prayer life looks like. Our conversation is the result of my life lived in prayer.”
I now understand that a life of prayer is beautiful. Prayer is actually an open and daily dialog with Jesus as we move through life. Living life this way, prayer becomes our lifeblood, it becomes a part of us, and like our life is anything but boring.
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